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November 13th, 2008
07:35 pm - Junkyard Ghost Revival - The Morning After
x-posted from other websites.
it's actually been a week since the conclusion of my leg with the JGR, but i would like to recount some highlights now, on the internet. so this will be like my tour diary - naughty!
LONG BEACH, CA - DOUBLE DECKER BUS
my first show with anis, buddy, and derrick was on a double decker party bus. essentially two huge men in kilts drove us and about 45 other people around Long Beach while everyone drank and listened to music (i had two BIG gatorades!). we would then make periodic stops (independent bookstore, lifeguard tower on the beach, some giant fountain, the queen mary) and we'd yell poetry at our bus-mates, then get back on and drive, drink, dance some more. this is the most ideal setting for spoken word and i'm not even kidding.
this show was a boss-ass way to start the tour - not only did i actually get to meet and hang out with almost everyone who was in the "audience," but i got to be with some of the most talented people in the history of ever. sonya renee was ending her leg with the guys with that show, so we were briefly five fingers on a hand of awesome slapping the crap out of wackness. mindy nettifee helped throw that amazing party and she "spat" poetry with us too. beau sia, amberrussmama tamblyn were in effect, and claude le monde came out of hiding.
after the show, amber drove us erratically back to her house. a nice house it was. you know, she could just as easily be a spoiled brat culture vampire (which is to say, that life is very tempting), but she chooses to write and support live poetry and everyone benefits as a result. plus she's a jackass like us.
the whole experience bathed me in grateful.
RENO, NV - U of NEVADA
drove to reno through the california desert into the high sierra mountains. thought to ourselves "we wanna be all up in them mountains." held that thought.
did a more standard, less bus-filled show at the school. the audience was fired up from the start and we got to experiment with an off-stage mic so everyone had to be on their toes. derrick and buddy had bus hangovers still, so between poems, they would lay down backstage, occasionally sitting up and looking around as if they just survived the fire-bombing of their city and were taking stock of what was left of their lives. at the end of the show, we invited everyone to go-kart with us the next day.
stayed at harrah's casino, lost 16 bucks in slots, went to an abraham-lincoln themed bar, woke up, bought some ties and a video made to entertain cats at a thrift store.
we went to a bountiful casino buffet, then to go-kart (we don't eff around with promises). seven people from the show turned up to go-kart with us. we came up with good go-kart nicknames, but the only ones i remember were "Sparky McButtPlug" and i said buddy should be "Tina Turner" as turning is an integral aspect of the sport. the regular rules of "try to win the race" are obvi boring, so the real contest was that whoever was able to slap or punch the most people was the winner. derrick won with 4.
hit the road, went through the mountains again. hit a traffic jam, got carsick, a little moody, saw a mountain lake, Donner Lake, in fact. remembered our desire to be up in them mountains. pulled over, removed most of our clothes, and swam (briefly) in the lake. derrick peed in it. it was cold, evidenced by my testicles who now live inside me like a terrified turtle. i'm sorry boys. regard., that swim, everyone agreed, made our skin electric and dissipated grumpiness. played catchphrase until we got to the bay.
THE BAY - DOMINICAN U and UC BERKELEY
dominican's audience was a good enough size to invite on the stage and sit native-american-style so they could see up our performing nose-hairs. there was a piano backstage that we got to incorporate into the show, as well as a hole in the curtain that was glorious. a glory hole, if you will. the things left backstage at shows became instrumental in keeping each set different and fresh.
after the show we went and stayed with anis's cousin and her husband, meisa and khalid. i hung out with them before when they lived in evanston, and they are two of the sweetest people on the planet. despite that fact, it rained.
at UCB, got to hear some awesome poemetry from isaac miller and denise jolly - both beautiful humans. i almost punched a girl in the face during one of our "rile 'em up" sessions, and derrick hit me in the head with a microphone. people seemed to enjoy themselves anyway. in fact, you could feel a palpable positive energy coming from that crowd, so even if you tried to be an utter failure, they wouldn't have let you. sidenote: i love denise jolly.
drove partway to portland, stayed the night in anderson, CA at an eco-friendly hotel. they had swans, met nice canadians, the showers had soap/shampoo dispensers, which is a great way to curb waste. gorged on free organic breakfast.
PORTLAND HALLOWEEN WEEKEND
drove up to p-land to crash at anis's house for the weekend. some important highlights:
-went to two halloween parties, the first (anis's friends) was filled only with characters from the mighty boosh, the second (derrick's "friends") was filled with only bags of douche. that's not true. BUT there was a guy dressed as beaker, the muppet, and his head was where beaker's mouth is and he had an apparatus to make the mouth open and close around his face. i suspect he built the costume from a penis costume. i found a rubber arm on the ground that i incorporated into my costume: guy with an extra arm. everyone agreed i was popular and smart.
-went to an 80s themed party the next day in suburban vancouver, washington. it won the prize for most lamest party, as the lights were on, there was two tvs going with two different kinds of karaoke being screamed poorly into them. there were children there at the beginning, the host had all the books in the left behind series, there was a dog who didn't want to be danced with. what made (and makes) all lame parties fun are the people you bring. so 80s party was salvageable cuz of anis, aaron (who lent me an awesome jumpsuit), rick, ted, joe, chris, and kate were there - many in short-shorts. we left a little early after aaron said "we gotta go, (rick)'s got church in the morning" and then someone with crimped hair said "yeah! church!" and high-fived aaron who said "yeah, i guess - it's kinda creepy: drinking jesus's blood? it's like halloween every sunday - blech!" then crimped girl threw carrots at him and we left.
sidenote: crimp haired girl also carried a guitar hero guitar around all night and pretended to play along with karaoke and actual people playing guitar hero. she said she plays guitar in a band. i said "what's the band's name?" "we don't have one!" "do you play for a living?" "who does?" then she rocked out for no one.
-went to three coffeeshops and two powell's bookstores. i bought 5 books, including a big picture book about bears - ted got one about fish - aly got one about bugs - anis got a comic book. got to hang out and read and write with derrick and anis, occasionally commenting on each other's poetry or just pointing out awesome things. it reminded me of the work environment at the coffeehouse in normal. i miss. i wish.
-got my hair cut and washed by a big tattooed barber who asked if i was allergic to straight razors - it was exhilerating. bought two pairs of tasty socks. spent a combined two hours watching ted's fish tank (anis's roommate is a fish god - like poseidan!). played pool and saw pineapple express and watched others bowl, not in that order.
-buddy, who stayed in seattle at his home, was reunited with us for our monday show and we all agreed that we legitimately missed each other. we jumped up and down for a while when came through the door.
-i could live in portland.
COTTAGE GROVE, OR - PACIFIC U
this show offered us more opportunities to eff around. brought a light bulb on wheels on the stage (a sign on it said it was a ghost light), anis turned it on as he started the show, i turned it off at the very end. got to climb a bar on the side of the stage to the ceiling. aaron (who is the tragic hero of his own life) sketched us on stage as part of his journalism site interview records: http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=177330964&blogID=446809611. tried out a new technique for selling more books that derrick suggested. it worked! message me for the secret! also got to bring a giant prop goose on stage and we re-enacted the end of a christmas carol. miriam, who set up the show, had a sweet laugh.
BELLINGHAM, WA - WESTERN WA U - ELECTION NIGHT!
first of all, look at this poster from the show - http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=39304677&l=85f2b&id=22919389 then watch this video: http://vimeo.com/2230082.
what the hell! the programming at WWU is, as my boss would say, just sick and wrong. they have their stuff together more than anywhere i've ever seen and we (slam/spoken word organizers) could learn about eleven hundred things from them. big thanks to ryan scott on the poster, christian saxton on the video, hallie and keri on the green room and organizing in general. these guys don't play around.
first, the show. the crowd was big and excited. karen finneyfrock and daemond arrindell and this sweet dude, simon, opened the show for us. it may have been bittersweet since it was my last show, but i honestly never felt that. i was in the moment as much as i could have been, and that's one of the bestest, longest moments of my life.
now, the election. we had assumed, along with most of the rest of the world, for there to be a long, drawn-out battle for EVs. the whole day we were nervous about it, listening for updates in the car, and then checking on anis's laptop offstage during the show. we had planned on making fake and real announcements about the race throughout the night, but after i announced that mccain had just won canada, anis and derrick ran on stage and said BHO won. buddy was about to perform, i think, but then we all just started cheering and humping each other and the crowd went crazy for democracy! here's a picture of that moment: http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=39304677&l=85f2b&id=22919389/photo.php?pid=34439269&op=1&o=global&view=global&subj=22919389&id=25916313
anis and i grabbed all the food they gave us in the green room and started passing it out. anis said "we're a socialist government now, so i gotta do this!" i was handing out ritz crackers, and i was like "here, here you go, crackers for obama! hey!" and realized what an awesome thing i just accidentally said. throughout the rest of the show we were unrepentantly joyous. we'd open the doors and people would just be running around outside, yelling and running, and the whole audience would yell back at them. i now know that animals feel rapturous glee, because that was some real primal love.
after the show, we did the interview in the above video. we were real antsy to get out and "be with the people" in the street party. at one point, in the video, there's some cheering off-camera that i look off at like "there it is again! let'sgolet'sgolet'sgo!" so look for that. we cleared out and started driving downtown but were met with a wall of revelers. buddy parked the car and we just ran into them, hugging and howling at strangers, so relieved the country came together for this mature gesture, becoming a country to many of us for the first time (and not just a place we had to endure in order to get health care). a cop was driving toward the crowd too, he got out of his car for a second, then got back in and let the people envelop him - what else could he do? a guy in american flag boxers, with his pants around his ankles, shuffled past the cop, took a swig from something in a paper bag, and put his butt on the car. beauty.
hung out with a gaggle of rad folk, notably, karen, daemond, alexis, chelsea, adam, tracey, keri, brittany, bob, and jessica. danced at a gay club, that buddy found to be less a "gay club," and more a "gay-friendly" club, much to his dismay. he took an informal poll as we were leaving and said "how many of you people are actually gay?" and three people raised their hands. he said "thank you, straight people, but you're not helping."
we went to our hotel and i fell asleep watching the news while anis typed on his computer next to my head.
THE END
the next morning i took a small plane to seattle, hung out there for three hours with the finneyfrock, tara hardy, and natalie. got to see the fantagraphics bookstore. then i went home.
i don't know if this is entertaining for you to read, but it was so important in my life to experience. i recommend everyone do "business traveling" with friends. it will make you better friends, it will make your business - in this case poetry - better, and it will give you someone to share the private parts and moments of your life with. i've always believed in the power of community and friendship to reciprocally benefit art and the world, and putting a small hunk of that community on a van was a lucky and perfect thing.
and so i miss. i wish. lucky and perfect thing.
back to the real world in chicago. thank you to everyone who exists.
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August 11th, 2008
02:34 pm - fuck-it
robbie q nps 08 update x-posted from myspace:
this is not meant to be a comprehensive update on the national poetry slam but here are some highlights:
- a shitload of new poets, an equal shitload of absent old poets. this both bodes well for the future of the movement and establishes further nps as another step into the life of a performance artist. it's like school after college and i think that's wonderful.
-poets really growing and coming into their own - jeanann verlee and brian ellis come to mind immediately. it's so wonderful seeing people figure out better why they were always so dope in the first place. sierra from st. paul sounds like herself now. the future is now!
-me calling marc after team finals and him laughing and laughing about the organizational problems.
-whoever produced three brilliant issues of the satirical gossip rag the Tattler did an excellent job.
-danny strack having a very long conversation with my cousin, lyz, and then apologizing a lot because he has a girlfriend.
-nerd slam press! they got some of the facts wrong (escalade? wha?), but otherwise it's a great article. it's been great being a part of the nerd slam for six nationals now, and it has definitely evolved into one of the highlights of my year. it's just so much fun. oh, and shannon performed amazingly, which confirmed my belief that she's going to be one of the best performance artists in chicago. soon, my pretties, soon.
-chicago in general. after the exodus that decimated our spoken word scene in '03, this is the first year i think we can say we've recovered. kay krown and tristan silverman are a big part of that.
-story. instead of individual finals, this year they had group piece finals for the top 12 scoring group pieces from teams not in semis. i like that more teams get to compete in higher levels though there were some belly-achers that said it means there isn't as good a show. whatever!
green mill was in said group piece final and considering we had only two practices before nationals (which were both 2 hours long), the only slammy group piece we had was an indy poem of iggy's about being a determined sperm. it became a group piece because marc, amy, and i had the idea to run around the audience frantically waving our arms behind us like we were iggy's spermy competition. with two people as sperm, it looked funny enough to get it into group finals.
so we're in this big show with multiple rounds and the group piece that got us there is really just a glorified indy poem. instead of feeling a little like charlatans since there were non-glorified indies who didn't make the final, we decided to give a green mill-style gift to the community. when the team found out we were in the final, tim says "you guys should get 30 people to run around the audience with you as sperm." though he was joking, he was also totally right.
so in this large theatre we strategically planted about 20 of our friends to get up on the cue line and run around like sperm in the aisles with us. in the balcony were a shitload of YCA kids also with the sperm instructions (i'm such a great influence on young minds - use a condom kids!). green mill was slated to perform in the second to last slot in the final, which was perfect since we were able to find out which of the teams backstage had already been eliminated from competition and could join us as well.
i was really nervous about it. i wanted everyone to like it as a big celebration of silliness, not something to disrespect the competition (though i wish slam were more expertly, positively disrespected just a little more sometimes). i also didn't want people in the audience to think there was a fire and that we were running around flailing in fear (like they do in Chicken Run, for instance).
iggy wins trooper of the year for letting us do this to his poem. when we get to the cue, amy, molly, and i burst out from iggy, all the plants on the main floor and the balcony shoot up, and about 10 more poets ejaculate from backstage. we're all running around, people are really laughing hard, tension-releasing scream-laughter. i bang my head into the sign language interpreter's body (whose sign for what was happening was to just laugh and gesture to me as i'm butting into his belly). dain down from jersey was carrying a whiskey bottle as a sperm. kelsey miller ate shit and cut up her knee as a sperm (though she laughed the whole time). amy's boobs were out of control (as a sperm). molly and iggy and the organizers and everyone had so much fun.
when it was done, people were chanting "12! 12! 12!" and when mike henry announced our disqualification to cheers, i came out and gave him the ABQ arm-cross. it took a while to calm everyone down.
if my function in this community is to make sure people keep their perspective on why we're together (through satire and sperm-silliness) i'm pretty okay with that. i definitely come to nationals to experience great performance poetry, but without the great people you get to know, the whole experience is pointless (so to speak). community trumps competition. always always always.
if this wasn't so long already, i'd namedrop all the people i love and why. i hope those people know why.
stay pretty, pretties. forget the ugly, pretties, your pretty is prettier.
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10:39 am - NPS 08 update...
can be found by a close, nonfictional friend here.
that's right, i'm still not real. i can't explain it either.
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May 23rd, 2008
04:57 pm - Reject'd!
What obvious flaws are oblivious to me today?
Didn't you read my bio?
Wasn't it full of all the right shit?
Should I not use the synonym function in word?
Is it my fault that writing is hard?
Is $1.50 a fair price to pay to mail paper to each other we get to throw away?
Fair to whom?
I was too perverted, wasn't I?
I relied on dick titties too much, didn't I?
You didn't look under the titties, did you?
You couldn't handle the smell, could you?
Fine!
I didn't want your stupid prestige anyway...
Happy Memorial Day Weekend everybody! Never forget!
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February 10th, 2008
09:58 pm - Fuck You, Old Man!
There are many reasons for naked old guys at the gym.
Never as wrinkly where it counts, they're as 3-D
mobile portraits of stacked knackwurst, held together
by the right mixture of "fuckitall" & "whythefucknot"
crack sausage muscle don't quit, bewilderbeest gentlemen.
Sweaty old soled old soul sweaty rolls.
The great chef-artist is accursedly deft.
Delicious.
Don't quit
it's the
clothes that
don't exist.
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July 16th, 2007
08:50 am - Ooola
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June 28th, 2007
01:35 pm - An unnamed, red-nosed reindeer
The reindeer herd methodically plods their way through a seemingly endless blizzard. The old, weak, and young have become easy pickings for a pack of gray wolves who follow and attack the herd with increasing desperation and ferocity.
But a certain little deer is causing extra trouble for the group. With a highly unfortunate genetic deformity, this reindeer is not only guaranteed to be the next wolf meal but he is also a safety concern for everyone else. You see, his particular genetic hiccup is a red bioluminescent nose that inexplicably and frequently shines like a neon diner sign to the marauding wolf pack, saying:
HERE WE ARE
EAT US NOW
REIN DEER MEAT
NUM MER NUMS
In fact, when encountering this bilious mutant, a person might even remark that its snout glows - as if it were a light bulb.
Its mother shuns the appalling mistake, hoping it soon to die. And now without her milk, he soon surely will.
Then, on an exceedingly foggy night – a fog so thick that it seems to engulf the entire Christian world – a bearded, slave-owning misanthrope starts beating his wife because his plans (of distributing his lunatic dogma to impressionable human children by sneaking into their homes and hiding so-called “free gifts” under house plants) appear to be ruined by the opaque fog.
Drunkenly he stumbles from his home to urinate in the snow and mentally regroup. Perhaps hidden plastic eggs would be better vessels for Capitalistic messages re: the bleeding Christ…
But then he spots it: the red beacon of our little freak show being batted roughly about under the antlers of a big male reindeer – excommunicating it from the protection of the herd. The male does not withhold any brutality as it repeatedly prods and mashes to pieces what the child-deer once called its bones. This male, incidentally, is one of five reindeer bucks who mated with the little one’s mother the last time she was in heat. However, before a paternity test may be administered, the would-be Abraham’s face is blasted clear off its skull from the shotgun of the inebriated and pantless recluse.
Lifting the broken and glowing pile of bleeding fur, the man bellows:
“Well look at you! I could strap you to the front of my sled, cut straight through this fog like shit through a goose, and once and for all stomp out the Jewish menace from the face of the planet! You just saved my old lady a trip to the infirmary, you disgusting little pissant! Heh heh heh!”
And though Zionist vermin still writhe and scurry about the globe, the hermit was able to successfully harness the power of the tiny wretch and spread his mantra of a love that can unstitch the fabric of society from within, one conditional gift at a time.
There is a moral:
You too may become useful in a way bigger than yourself. So while you might want to cover your deformities now – and you should – don’t give up hope that one day you’ll be accidentally useful: that the stomach-turning growth on your neck will one day be delicately caressed and worshipped because the visage of St. Francis of Assisi appears to be in it. Or perhaps supermodels might discover that your debilitating back acne is the perfect textured luffa they could ever clean their naked and perfect bodies with. You never know! Just keep hoping. Hope hope hope and you might luck into something before the wolves come for you.
As for our little red-nosed friend, he was still quite brightly lighting the sled’s path twenty-three hours after he stopped breathing. And though the jury’s still out, it’s pretty certain that history will judge him alongside other great heroes, like Eli Whitney, like the Manhattan Project, like Columbus.
Current Location: 21 weeks in the future
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January 25th, 2007
05:05 pm - you big dummy!
I’m one of those creatures that
Likes to think she’s not a big dummy
Rather, I like to think I’m the smallest kind of dummy possible
A baby dummy protozoa fetus pebble
Tiny stuffed life
So so small I’m almost smart
So wee so I’m unused for dummy work
So I can go unnoticed
Among authenticity
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December 30th, 2006
03:05 am - here's a thing that's fun to use...
internet commerce!
click on it, i think you'll be pleasantly surprised...
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December 22nd, 2006
01:32 am - icicle beavers NOT included
just click on it to buy. just buy it. please.
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=91.7) mikemcgee was the one who suggested the winning title, though hellslam and poltergasm both had finalists (with My Ass is On Fire and I Shall Not Be Afraid to Hold You, Friend respectively).
also, since you were wondering, here's the dates of the Mike McGee/Robbie Q. "Friends With Ben E. Fitz Tour 2006":
1/02/07 Columbus, OH
1/03/07 Boston, MA
1/04/07 NYC, NY
1/05/07 Buffalo, NY
1/06/07 DAY OFF
1/07/07 DAY OFF
1/08/07 Syracuse, NY
1/09/07 NYC (not featuring, but we'll be there... performing...)
1/10/07 DAY OFF/Ann Arbor, MI (huge maybe)?
1/11/07 Ann Arbor/Detroit, MI
1/12/07 Toronto, ONT, CANADA/Mike's B-DAY!
1/13/07 DAY OFF/Detroit?
1/14/07 Detroit, MI
1/15/07 Return to Chicago
huzzah!
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