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December 21st, 2006

01:43 am - Icicle Beavers
Most believed the icicle beavers to be so called
Because the clear rodents were sharp and seasonally drippy
They are actually named “icicle beaver” because the lucid
Jagged dagger sticks comprise the dams that they construct
Their translucent clarity backing up the frozen lakes of Uranus for miles.

Icicle beavers have few predators
Fewer allies
They inhabit the most secluded provinces of immaturity
Increasingly ignored by passing satellites and aspiring adults.

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November 30th, 2006

01:04 pm - nerd help
my more frequently updated alter-ego has posted a plea for help from the computer tech geek community, of which at least a few read this blog. please help him by reading his whiney problems here.

in other news, i've finally mastered the art of eating through imagination as seen in the popular film Hook. the trick is being so starved from neglect and ignorance that you believe in magic - it's just that simple!

at this rate, i'll have a husband in no time!

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November 25th, 2006

11:13 pm - because i can't stop watching it...

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October 18th, 2006

05:37 pm - RIP, Shitwater Jesus
from the associated press newswire:

Shitwater Jesus was once the most influential blues musician in the United States. His classic, "My Baby is an Ugly Bitch" was the highest-grossing blues single in the 20th century with eleven copies sold. Ol’ Shitwater could make six-strings sing like he was playing the soundtrack to your soul: all while snorting seventeen pounds of crank and being blown by a 58-year-old hooker named Regina W. Cosgrove. And though Regina could simultaneously perform oral sex while playing the stand-up bass, Shitwater didn’t need her. He didn’t need anybody. Tragically, he did need certain essential fluids and nutrients in order for his body to function. Thus, on October 15, 2006, at the age of 37, Shitwater Jesus passed away from malnutrition and complications from accidentally inhaling a softball. He left behind a song catalog in the thousands, a financial debt many times larger, and a hooker who could play stand-up bass while blowing guys. Her name was Regina W. Cosgrove, and she was an ugly bitch.

behind JT-lake and Fergie, Shitwater Jesus was my favorite musician. he made me feel like part of me was black, you know? like i was also struggling through a laughing sadness so profound that it could never be expressed soley in my grill, chains, and timberlands...

i love you, shitwater. may flights of angels sing thee to thy rest.

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October 5th, 2006

08:04 pm - centipedes
my new home is festooned with centipedes
they're confetti what scurries
they're a parade of legs
hundreds of them

last night (honestly) i had a dream
that NASA discovered life on mars
the world was astonished
keenan ivory wayans had things to say about it

the space footage (which is always shittier)
showed the mars creatures
moving headless about the redness
the announcer described them as "sinister-looking centipedes"
everyone seemed to agree
they looked like centipedes
they looked sinister

although it was the scientific discovery of the century
no one reasonable wanted the space centipedes
brought back to earth
the prospect of the mindless aliens on our planet
made our souls feel gross

so the astronauts returned home empty-handed
but were heralded as heroes
given a big parade
everyone came
hundreds of them.

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October 4th, 2006

12:47 pm - fluffy walrus
there is this fluffy walrus here now.

he's saying things that are supposed to happen to me later.

history will judge his accuracy, but it sounds neither good nor bad.

he's using animal logic... i can tell...

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September 23rd, 2006

10:58 am - website
ok, someone i know finally has a website. it's shitty, and personally i hate it and plan on never visiting it again. it's called robbieq.net but i think it should be called robbieq.suk.

i DARE you to go to it often, checking back frequently for updates! i double dare you, motherfuckers!

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September 18th, 2006

10:11 pm - UNOFFICIAL 2005 NPS anthology
From PSi president scott woods:

What's to appear in the 2005 Anthology
(...understanding that you're asking this before it goes to print, so things MIGHT change. They might not, but they could. Nothing is in stone until it's on paper. I'm just saying. Now let us clear some stuff off the table and get it out the door.)

Christian Drake – Birdwatching
Aaron Trumm – Paper Bag
Aaron Trumm – Walking Dead
Beverly Wilkinson – Singing With Scissors
Jason Bayani & Liz Green – Gwen (She Did Not Apologize)
Annie Kincade and Shannon Maney - Hagtime: the Musical
Paulie Lipman – Speak Up
Alvin Lau – Poem for Our Third Anniversary
Alvin Lau – Koalas
Christian Drake – Bad Seed
Shira - Cockahuman, Humaroach
Sarah Versau – Beautiful
Sarah Versau – Walking on Eggshells
Carlos Andrés Gómez – Pyromaniac
Scott Woods – Queen Takes Black Knight
Michael Cirelli – The Best Use for My Poems
Caroline Harvey – Apple Trees
J. Bradley – A Letter to My Unborn Children
Jason Bayani – History of the Ardenwood B-Boys
Karrie Waarala – Slide
Buddy Wakefield – Who Killed America?
Charles Ellik – Four Corners Haiku Suite
Ragan Fox – Attack of the Ribbon Magnets
Sonya Renee – Still Life
Big Poppa E – Haikus
Dasha Kelly – Simply Love
Dasha Kelly – Home
Mike Henry – Cancer
Kevin “Chesko” Briancesco – Angelic Sanity (or The Ninja Ponies Poem)
Matt Mason – The Baby That Ate Cincinnati
Karen Garrabrant – World AIDS Day
Michael Cirelli – Losing Creativity
Michael Cirelli – Golden Retriever
Tim Stafford – Buffer Zone
Tim Stafford - I am so Sorry my Poem Beat up Your Poem
Corbet Dean – Broken
Mekkah – Sweet Freedom
Mekkah – Keep Breathing
Mekkah – Aftermath
Lincoln Schreiber – Colors
Caroline Harvey – Golden Boy
Jamie Kennedy – Graduation Day
Jamie Kennedy – Rebels Without Applause
J. Bradley – Archaeology
Aaron Enskat - NESter’s Wild Rose Garden Of Philosophical Bric-a-Brac
Aaron Enskat - The Cure Song Of J. Alfred Prufrock

Jason Bayani – A Swan Song
Karrie Waarala – Long Story Short
Todd Bannon – Heroes
Todd Bannon – Amy
Stefan Sencerz - Eating Ice Cream, while Reading Aristotle, while Listening to Miles
D.C. & The Boys of Team Normal – Memory Lane
Robbie Q for Team Normal – Electricity

Stephen Meads - From Mos Def to Mos Eisly
Stephen Meads – Final Frontier
Buddy Wakefield – No Child Left Behind
Charles Ellik – Snugglicious
JT Bullock – Fighting Back
Eric Darby – Scratch and Dent Dreams
Ansel Appleton – 10 Small Pieces of Metal
Dan Leamen - Brothers
Scott Woods - Jesse

in bold are the normalians featured in the unofficial anthology list. even if some get mysteriously cut, pride is pooling within me.

congrats all and thanks scott.

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September 4th, 2006

10:04 am - sadness
this is pretty depressing.

from the sound of it, they would have had his death on video.

steve, though my dream of being jostled by you has been interrupted, i know that when we meet in the hereafter, you will spend hours wrestling me to the ground, telling me "you're all right, girl," and informing millions of people what i eat, where i live, and how if i'm respected, i won't hurt anyone.

you were a little crazy, but i'm really going to miss you.

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August 26th, 2006

09:20 pm - holy shit tit!
you'll never motherfucking believe who i just motherfucking met.

i'm shaking. holy shit.
Current Mood: ecstaticstarstruck
Current Music: what a wonderful phrase!

(13 comments | Leave a comment)

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